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"Little Barbies" Sex Trafficking of Young Girls in America

Children are being “ targeted and sold for sex  in America every day".  John Ryan, National Center for Missing & Expl...

venerdì 19 gennaio 2018

"Getting Off" Pornography and the End of Masculinity

In her debut memoir, Getting Off, Erica Garza confronts her experience of overcoming sex and porn addiction, and the shame that still surrounds it 

It may be 2018, but there remains a lot of secrecy and shame around female sexuality. While a good proportion of popular culture seems to center around men jerking off, female masturbation remains a relatively taboo subject. There are, Garza notes, “shows like Broad City and Insecure which depict women watching porn or masturbating, so things are changing for the better” but they are few and far between. Even the current #MeToo movement, which has ignited a debate about sexual mores, hasn’t really focused on women as sexual agents; rather hypersexuality has been equated with toxic masculinity.

Meanwhile, women are watching more porn than ever: according to Pornhub’s 2017 Year in Review, “Porn for Women” was the top trending search of the year, increasing by over 1,400%.
There certainly weren’t any frank discussions about such topics when Garza was growing up. Garza was born into a middle-class Mexican family and grew up in the well-to-do suburbs of LA. As a young girl at Catholic school, Garza says, it was made very clear to her “that sex was for procreation and anything outside of that was sinful or dirty or bad”. This made it difficult for her to separate shame from pleasure. “The first time I masturbated I felt immense pleasure and immense shame at the same time. So, I think I continued to seek out situations that would produce the same feelings in me because I didn’t know how to separate the two.”
As she grew older, her shame spiraled into what she describes as an all-consuming sex addiction. She’d spend whole days in bed masturbating to porn; have unprotected sex with a string of guys she’d just met; ruin promising relationships because she couldn’t stop herself having sex with other people. “In some moments, with some partners, ‘sexually liberated’ was exactly what I felt,” she writes in her book. “But those moments were rare.” Being sexually liberated is empowering; her sex addiction was just the opposite.
But what exactly is a sex addiction? The term was popularized in the early 1980s but isn’t currently listed in the standard diagnostic manuals of mental disorders –and not everyone is sure it is an actual illness. So many disgraced male celebrities, the latest being Harvey Weinstein, have claimed to be sex addicts, potentially giving them a free pass for despicable acts.
Garza acknowledges that’s “there’s a real danger with using sex addiction to justify bad behavior, especially right now with everything that’s happening in Hollywood.” However, she says, it’s “important to know that not all sex addicts are in positions of power and not all sex addicts want to take advantage of and hurt other people.”
Further, says Garza, there is no easy definition of sex addiction. “I’m often asked how many hours of porn I watch and how many partners I’ve had. Understandably people want to measure an addiction because then it’s easier to cure. But sex addiction doesn’t work that way. I can’t just say ‘two hours of porn a day is OK but three is a problem’, because everyone expresses their sexuality in different ways.”
When it comes to her own experience, Garza says, she knew she had a dysfunctional relationship with sex and porn “because it was getting in the way of my intimacy with other people; it was getting in the way of my productivity. I just felt bad about it all the time.” Garza says would cancel plans so she wouldn’t miss out on opportunities to have sex and sabotaged relationship after relationship because, she says, she “felt really unworthy of love”.
Just as there is no straightforward diagnosis of sex addiction, says Garza, there’s no simple way of curing it. Garza herself tried various remedies, from going to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous meetings (which, she says, were overwhelmingly male) to meditation to therapy.
Then, just as she was about to turn 30, she took a trip to Bali “partly inspired by Eat, Pray, Love”. There, she started doing a lot of yoga and taking care of herself. “When I was in that clear-headed space I met my husband – he was on his own journey recovering from drug addiction,” she says. It was the first time she was able to be in an honest, healthy relationship, and, from there, she started to develop a healthier relationship with sex.
Garza hopes her memoir will educate people about the nature and prevalence of sex addiction. “I think the common narrative with sex addictions and most addictions is that it’s preceded by abuse and trauma and so I really wanted to open up that narrative and show that it could really happen to anyone, even if you had a safe, loving childhood as I had,” she explains.
Her intention with the book, she stresses, isn’t to “promote censorship or demonize the porn industry. I think that people can use porn in a healthy way.” Rather she wants to help break down the shame that still shrouds female sexuality.
But while Garza may intend for her memoir to promote a more complex view of female sexuality and desire, I wonder if might end up doing just the opposite.
The tabloids have seized upon Garza’s memoir with obvious relish, and much of the coverage appears to have turned her story into a modern morality tale: a nice Catholic schoolgirl develops a shameful addiction to sex and internet porn. Just when she hits rock bottom, she meets her husband. The love of a good man saved her, turning her into a loving wife and mother.
Garza always knew her story risked getting sensationalized and simplified. Still, she says, she has been disappointed by how reductive some of the coverage has been.
Some outlets, she feels, have “minimized my story by saying that I was saved by a man, and that my husband was the main reason I changed. Yes, he played a very important role but that’s not the whole story.” In addition, says Garza, “a few articles really made a point of saying I was a mom – I think if I were a dad they wouldn’t have mentioned that. It felt like they were trying to shame me or make me into some kind of freak show.”
But while she feels like some of the coverage has been trying to shame her, “I also feel like nobody is going to be able to shame me more than I’ve already shamed myself. They can certainly try. But that’s on them. I’m past that.”

'Sex addiction can happen to anyone': author Erica Garza sheds light on a female taboo Arwa Mahdawi 17 Jan 2018 

Erica Garza has admitted she started watching porn when she was just 12 years old in a new memoir called Getting Off.

The 35-year-old from the US went from a self-conscious Catholic schoolgirl to someone hooked on porn, saying it was all a combination “of shame and sexual excitement” that she had come to depend on.

“My methods of getting this only became darker and more intense, wreaking havoc on all aspects of my life,” she told the New York Post.

“I used to hide with my computer in the bedroom closet. Part of the thrill was that I might get caught.”

Erica says she believes it all came from her struggle to fit in at school in LA while she suffered from scoliosis and was forced to wear a back brace. She would seek an escape and that is what porn became.

What started with softcore porn on late-night cable TV eventually developed with technology through her teens and she eventually even unable to have sex without porn on.

“It felt like a relief for me because we had a sort of wall between us,” she explained.

It got to the point where she was watching hard-core porn and engaging in risky and violent sex, even with complete strangers.

Finally, in her early 30s, Erica realised her addition was stopping her from bonding with men. It was then she met her how-husband, who encouraged her to talk about why she used porn.

The now married mother-of-one said with the help from her husband, yoga and therapy she didn’t watch porn for six months. 

Data from porn sites shows that 2017 will go down as the year when women really got into porn, with "female-friendly" clips and racy books like 50 Shades of Grey growing in popularity.
Robert Weiss, top sexologist and author of Sex Addiction 101 says that in the past years of working with hundreds of sex addicts, he's noticed this trend too - but it's not always a good thing.
Many people are empowered by porn, as they explore their sexuality and find ways to improve their sex life, watching it in moderation as part of a well-rounded lifestyle.
But more and more people - particularly women - are finding themselves hooked.
Robert told Sun Online: "I'm seeing more women struggling online than I've ever seen struggle before with porn and hooking up.
"Traditionally, porn has been a mostly male venue, since women don't respond to immediate visual images in the way that men do. But while I've been dealing with men for 25 years, there have really only been programmes for women for treatment and care in the past five to eight.
"What's happened recently is that pornographers are getting a sense of how to engage women - with stories and emotional connections as well as the porn."
And while this is great news for many women, it can fuel debilitating addictions for others.

Sex for the different sexes

Sex Addicts Anonymous estimates as many as six per cent of Brits - roughly 4 million people - are battling a sex addiction, while Dr Patrick Carnes, who popularised the term "sex addiction", estimates that one in five sex addicts are women.
And this small group of women faces unique challenges as a result of the stigma which still clings to sex addictions.
Robert said: "What I've seen is that women don't show up looking for help in the ordinary places. It's easier for a man to walk into a clinic and say he has a sex problem.
"But on the internet, women feel more comfortable and so I'm seeing more of them reaching out and building communities online."

Habit or addiction?

The shameful and isolating nature of sex addictions, particularly for women, mean many people become hooked on sex or porn and don't feel comfortable asking for help.
But where do you draw the line between a normal porn habit and an addiction to adult clips?
Robert explained: "No addiction is defined by how much, how often or what kind. Porn is the same.
"If the porn use becomes more important and more focused on than other priorities in life and they begin to suffer, then we talk about an addiction."

Virtual reality (VR) tech means that just by pulling on a headset, you can immerse yourself into any world you choose and see your surroundings in 360-degree 3D, as if you are actually there.

While this VR software has clear uses in the world of gaming, the tech has also, predictably, started to trickle down to the world of adult entertainment as well.
The appeal is obvious: why would you sit watching a boring old porn video on a 2D laptop screen when you can pop on a headset and put yourself in the middle of the action?
VR kit is slowly starting to hit the market, and adult sites are already starting to embrace the tech as a way to add intimacy to their clips and make porn feel more real.
But experts fear this could have profound consequences if people decide they'd rather leave the real world behind and take up residence in a virtual one.

Porn reborn

Robert Weiss, digital intimacy expert and author of Sex Addiction 101, told Sun Online that this tech makes virtual encounters feel so real and intimate that people will find it hard to turn them down.
He said: "VR porn is going to change a generation. The people creating the tech have said that they think people will end up having virtual sex before they go on a date.
"The whole development of relationships and connection and sexuality - and the organisation and order of it all - is all getting tossed up in the air."
But VR porn is just the start of it.

Cam again?

Even more addictive than VR porn is VR "camming", Robert warns.
Short for "webcamming", camming is the term for an already existing, highly interactive type of porn where models perform live, via video, for paying customers.
Viewers can pay for the models to take off their clothes, perform a specific action or even have a conversation with them, if they tip well enough.
It's already an estimated billion-dollar industry, with millions of active users... so imagine the draw of camming in immersive virtual reality.
A handful of VR cam sites have already popped up as more and more customers - and models - get on board with the tech.
And Robert, who has worked with hundreds of sex addicts, thinks the pull of using VR to transport yourself to a cam model's bedroom will be too much for many men to resist - and make it harder for them to leave their own.
He said: "When VR camming starts, we're going to lose thousands and thousands of people to it. And it's only a couple of years away.
"When you sit there and you face that person, and they are loving, warm, sexy and engaging - and you're not looking at a screen, you feel like you're with them.
"That's going to be the game changer. Everything we're seeing now, in my 25 years of experience, is going to be nothing compared to what happens when VR really rolls out in the next few years."

An alluring illusion

Camming is already far more intimate and personal than regular porn, and VR tech is capable of blurring the lines between reality and performance even more.
Throw in teledildonic sex toys, which allow the cam models to stimulate you physically, despite being half the way around the world, and the lines disappear entirely.
Meanwhile, the VR headset brings the model up close, creating the feel of a real sexual interaction or, if you're a regular customer, a real relationship.
But it's all an illusion.
The women are real women, of course, but they're just working, and they can't even see the blokes who are paying to watch them.
Robert said: "I used to work with men who had phone sex problems. They would spend hour after hour on the phone, spending £3.99 a minute all to get some woman to say 'I want you'.
"Men like that, when they find themselves facing someone in VR, they're never going to leave that room. They will spend fortunes.
"The challenges we'll see are people who don't know how to date, or how to be intimate. I'm going to have more clients than I can tolerate.
"We are going to have men sitting behind their screens who will never leave them, paying for virtual smiles."


Searches for Sex Robots and VR on Porn Sites Rocketed Up in 2017 CHARLIE NASH10 Jan 2018


Male Sex Robots 7 GENNAIO 2018

Sex Robots Conference 20 DICEMBRE 2017

JUST days after saying she was lonely on Christmas, porn star Olivia Nova was found dead.

The 20-year-old adult film star was found in a Las Vegas homewith her agent LA Direct Models confirming her death.
The talent agency for porn performers said it was “deeply saddened to learn of the passing of our model”.
“We came to know Olivia as a beautiful girl with a very sweet and gentle personality,” a statement read.
“Another one, way too young we are beyond shocked and most certainly, completely out of the blue. Rest in peace sweet angel.”
The circumstances surrounding her death are currently unknown with a coroner’s report expected to take six to eight weeks.
Nova tweeted about being lonely a number of times on Christmas Day, referring to herself as a “lonely lady” in one conversation with a fan.
When the two were speaking about vegan alcohol, Nova tweeted a photo of her Christmas socks writing, “Haha I’d just be the lonely lady wearing festive socks buying booze”.
Earlier on Christmas she tweeted: “Alone on the holidays and want to give a fan a holiday call. Would lift my spirit”.
The young actor also referred to struggling with OCD in a December 21 tweet.
“If I even get close to getting a dry skin bump I sit there and pick at it for like a month and it never goes away. My OCD will be the end of my career #ShootCancelled,” she wrote.
Also in December, Nova hit out at a fan who claimed she was using heroin, revealing her boyfriend died from an overdose on the same drug in April.
“My boyfriend killed himself two days before my birthday in April on [heroin], that’s not cool to poke at...not over him,” she wrote.
Nova entered the porn industry last March and was already building up a devoted fan base.
She had more than 20,000 followers on Twitter and was followed by close to 5000 people on Instagram.
Nova, whose real name was Lexi Rose Forte, will be laid to rest in her home state of Minnesota with her family starting a GoFundMe page to help pay for funeral costs.
Her mother Leslie is now on her way to Las Vegas to sort through Lexie’s belongings, retrieve her dog and bring her body home to Minnesota.
At the time of writing, the page has raised $6,185 of its $8,000 goal in less than a day.
Nova is the fourth porn star to die in the industry in three months.
Famous porn star August Ames ended her life days after she sparked an online firestorm over tweets about working with men who had appeared in gay adult movies.
Ames was labelled a “homophobe” for the tweet and brutally bullied online.

The 23-year-old, who had starred in more than 270 adult films, died on December 8.
A week later, fellow porn star Yuri Luv died of a suspected drug overdose.
One of her last Instagram posts was captioned: “I hope to my death, late, in love, and a little drunk.”
Shyla Stylez, 35, a hall of fame porn star, died in her sleep in November.

There are many reasons not to look at pornography, and I’ve written many columns in this space detailing those reasons: The mainstreaming of rape culture, the creation of addictions, the destruction of marriages and families, and even the warp-speed spread of erectile dysfunction

But there is another reason not to look at pornography: Simple compassion for the women and girls who get chewed up by the industry and then abandoned.

Even Miriam Weeks—also known Belle Knox, the “Duke University Porn Star”—who once described porn as “freeing and empowering and the way the world should be” in an interview with CNN, later admitted in interviews that the porn industry had ruined her life.

It’s not surprising that the intense violence of the porn industry is ruining the women and girls who end up selling themselves to it.

“Once [the performers] are in the industry, they have high rates of substance abuse, typically alcohol and cocaine, depression, borderline personality disorder,” noted researcher Dr. Mary Anne Layden, an expert on the porn industry.

“The experience I find most common among performers is that they have to be drunk, high, or disassociated to go to work. Their work environment is particularly toxicThe terrible work life of the pornography performer is often followed by an equally terrible home life. They have an increased risk of sexually transmitted disease (including HIV), domestic violence, and have about a 25% chance of making a marriage that lasts as long as three years.”

Such things are an open secret inside the porn industry. One male porn performer who starred in 600 films with over 3,000 women noted that everyone in the porn world has herpes, both males and females. Dr. Sharon Mitchell’s estimate was slightly lower—she put the number at 66%, not including another 12-28% with other STDs and 7% with HIV.

To cope with this lifestyle, porn performers turn to substance abuse. Erin Moore, a porn performer, was blunt: “The drugs we binged on were ecstasy, cocaine, marijuana, Xanax, Valium, Vicodin, and alcohol.

I asked my friend Jessica Neely, a former porn performer who is recovering from her time in the industry, if suicide was common in the porn industry. “Well, 100% of [industry] survivors I know have attempted [suicide], so I don’t know,” she told me. “I know of three alive from my era now.” When I asked her about the rates of substance abuse, her response was equally gloomy: “100%.”

Jessica has lost a lot of friends.

“At the end, with the HIV cover-ups, I just saw we were going to die one way or another,” she said. “HIV cover-ups were to truly take away the option of choice. It was murder. We were murdering our own.”

Consider this for a moment: Many of the actresses that porn users are watching are dead.

They are arousing themselves to the sight of women and girls who have ended up in coffins because the industry that exploits them for the pleasure of porn users drove them to drugs, to drink, and to death. There is something truly evil and truly vile about millions of men spending millions of hours in a state of sexual excitement over doomed performers who will destroy their lives in the few years they spend in the porn industry. Carnality leading to carnage.

If you look at porn, know that you are contributing to the exploitation and victimization of the girls you are using to "get off."

Know that when the director yells “cut” and you’re done watching the video, the miserable people going through the motions for your entertainment will probably be abusing drugs and alcohol to cope with their experience.

And know that at the end of the day, your habit is contributing to the suicides of young girls who cannot handle the strain of being a sex object for your pleasure each and every day. 

Is this something that anyone wants to be a part of in any way? It's time to end porn. This will only happen if demand dries up. It's time to stop the demand. Break the habit. 

Many porn stars viewed online are actually dead and buried…their ‘work’ killed them January 18, 2018 (LifeSiteNews)

Gli strani lutti nel porno: 4 attrici morte in 3 mesi Andrea Riva  09/01/2018

Fifth porn star found dead in three-month time span JESSICA SCHLADEBECK NEW YORK DAILY NEWS January 20, 2018

Depressione e solitudine: perché le pornostar si suicidano Andrea Riva 13/01/2018 

Shocking Truth

At a time when the feminist movement is growing stronger even as the word “feminism” itself has come to be misconstrued and maligned, what does it mean for a man to call himself a radical feminist?
For author and academic Robert Jensen, it implies belonging to a long tradition of women and men who simply want to get to the root of the problem of gender injustice – a definition based on the Latin meaning of radical as “root”.
For the past 30 years, Jensen, a senior professor of journalism at the University of Texas, has been known for his Left-wing political activism, his advocacy for an end to masculinity, and his activism against sex-based industries such as pornography and prostitution. His firm stand against pornography is unpopular among many other feminists who focus on the value of choice in consensual pornography, but for Jensen, it is merely a logical extension of the radical feminist critique of the ways in which sexual exploitation-based industries normalise violence against women.
“Radical is often taken to mean crazy or extreme,” said Jensen, whose latest book, The End of Patriarchy: Radical Feminism for Men, was published in 2017. “But by radical feminist, I mean the understanding that men’s subordination of women is a product of patriarchy and that the ultimate goal of feminism is the end of patriarchy’s gender system, not merely liberal accommodation with the system.”
Jensen, who is visiting India, has been speaking about politics, feminism and journalism in Mumbai, Pune and Bengaluru.

On pornography

One of Jensen’s seminal books is Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity, an impassioned personal commentary on why the world needs to do away with pornography altogether. His position draws from the school of feminism which views porn as sexist, racist, damaging to the women working in the industry and, most importantly, it is where gender-based violence is dangerously sexualised.
“Pornography, I learned from these feminists, was a key place where the domination/subordination dynamic in patriarchy is sexualised,” said Jensen in an email interview with By reflecting on his own use of porn in his youth, Jensen found that it plays a large role in socialising boys into patriarchal masculinity. “That has obvious destructive consequences for women, but it is not in the self-interest of men to embrace it.”
This critique of the sex industry is even more compelling and relevant today, because the contents of porn, according to Jensen, have become increasingly cruel and violent over the years – “In the 30 years I have been studying pornography, that’s the paradox. In cultures that claim to be civilised, like the United States, pornography is more widely accepted yet more intensely sexist and racist than ever. 
The accessibility, affordability, and anonymity of the internet has contributed to this expansion and intensification, along with the pornography industry’s need to produce consistently more extreme material to keep the mostly male consumers clicking/buying.”

Ending masculinity

Many feminists don’t share this view on porn and other sex-based industries, and Jensen believes it is because this critique leads to an inevitable re-assessment not only of pornography but also of the general sexualising of male dominance, which he would like to see abolished. “People are afraid of that truly radical analysis, so precisely when we need that feminist critique the most, people avoid it,” he said.
In his books and essays, Jensen also asserts the need to completely eliminate masculinity, instead of merely redefining it in less toxic terms. “Recognising that masculinity is typically associated with an obsession with control and conquest, men often try to rescue the concept by offering characteristics of a healthy masculinity, such as strength, caring, or courage,” he said. “But it’s obvious that those are not traits that only men possess or should aspire to. Striving to be a ‘good man’ and create a healthy masculinity, then, turns out to be nothing more than striving to be a decent human being, male or female.”

A post-Weinstein world

Jensen may be at odds with other schools of feminism on many counts, but like most of them, he has been filled with hope in the aftermath of the Harvey Weinstein scandal, in which the powerful Hollywood producer was exposed as a serial sexual abuser by the scores of women he exploited. The scandal led to a flood of sexual harassment allegations against influential men in various industries around the world, and many of them have lost their jobs in the process.

The Silence Breakers #MeToo Update DECEMBER 12, 2017

“In my lifetime, I have never seen this kind of space for women to tell the truth,” said Jensen. “Like many, I am hopeful that this moment of accountability will not fade.” He believes that the world could well be at a tipping point at which the abusive behaviour of many men will not be tolerated the way it was for years.
To keep up the momentum of this movement, Jensen believes a radical feminist analysis is necessary – but he is not as confident about people’s willingness to go down that path. “There likely will be changes in institutional policies and some laws, but will people want to challenge the routine ways that men treat women as objectified bodies for male sexual pleasure? One test will be whether this leads to a wider critique of the sexual-exploitation industries.”

Meanwhile, Jensen claims it is important for all men to challenge themselves by re-examining their own behaviour from the feminist lens. “That critical self-reflection is not always easy or fun, but I can testify that it has made my life richer and fuller.”

School sex crimes up by 255 per cent, porn culture to blame 16 GIUGNO 2017



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